I never realized until today (after watching Joyce Meyer's Part 1 of "Get Radical" with guest, Erwin McManus), that a lifelong problem of mine has been basically an acting out of a theme as old as the Garden of Eden.
In the Garden of Eden, God tells Adam and Eve that they can enjoy any and all foods from the Earth. Anything and everything . . . except the fruit from one tree, the infamous Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. What happens next of course is that this one tree is the very tree Eve, and then Adam, choose from which to eat. The devil-as-serpent's first strategy is simple but effective: he calls attention to this one tree. If it were a carrot, the devil would have been seen merely dangling it at first. His initial strategy is a bit like what happens when someone says to you, "Don't think of a red stop sign. Whatever you do, just don't think of a red stop sign" and you think of a red stop sign. Not only do you think of a red stop sign, it's as if you can't stop thinking of that blasted red stop sign! Alas, it doesn't take much for us humans to want to do what we aren't supposed to.
But what happens in Eden is more than just all too human. I understand that the Fall, that sin, is not always defined as obvious, intentional evil, but that it is often disguised as childish petulance and entitlement. So many times, we sin not out of outright malice, but because our pleasure-drive grabs the steering wheel without any input from the C.E.O. part of our brain. We impulsively lunge for immediate gratification without checking in with our own higher consciousness through which God can guide us.
"You can have everything, everything to your heart's delight" was the message God gave us through Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. But God also gave us one choice and the freedom to choose it. It's funny that any outsider could see how not only catastrophic Eve's choice was, but how plain old, any which way you slice it, STUPID her choice was. It's as if Eve was a little 5 year old child who God brought to Toys R Us saying, "You can have ANYthing here. In fact, you can have EVERYTHING here. It is ALL for you. . . just not that one toy next to the cash register." And the little 5 year old delights in a truck load of new and amazing gifts that could satisfy her for a lifetime, but then she forgets all about them once she sees the one thing she shouldn't have. Once she sees it, she allows it to become larger than life because that's all she chooses to focus on.
This is where I come in. This is how I really relate to the story of the Garden of Eden in a very literal way. I can have all the fruits, nuts, and vegetables I like. I can eat them with great, savoring enjoyment, but instead of focusing on this gift of lasting abundance, I CHOOSE to focus obsessively, negatively, and with great frustration on the junk food I shouldn't have, the very junk that I know makes my body both feel and act poorly.
God has blessed me with God's Grace--- literally, blessed me with many things I neither earn nor deserve. I happen to be both culturally and financially able to buy fresh cherries in the middle of winter; I can purchase raw cashews that are organic. I enjoy the luxurious convenience and health benefits of already prepared, whole foods. All these kinds of things that have been provided for me are things I absolutely LOVE. It's not like I don't get to eat the things I truly enjoy. And yet, I repeatedly allow my psyche to become depressed over the things from which I feel "deprived" that are not in my best interest to enjoy in the first place. Of course, if I single-mindedly focused on the cornucopia of natural, healthful foods God set on Earth, I would never choose to see myself as deprived.
So, here I sit with my soft belly, clear evidence of how I've reaped what I have sown. Oh, I've been eatin' from the tree of knowing both good, whole, fresh, delicious foods, and of knowing evil, processed, high fructose corn syrup saturated, and nutrition deprived foods. I wish I had never tasted from the 'evil' side to begin with, but I have. No turning back time. But now I still have the freedom to choose.
Will I choose to continue to sin against my body which God never intended as a McTemple? And will I continue to hide from God in the back of my pantry between the Doritos and the M&Ms? My problematic relationship with food has been a lifelong struggle. But then, why do I even choose to see it as a "struggle"? As if all this is just about God trying to take something (my frozen Ho Ho's) away from me? God doesn't want to take anything away. God wants to add to my life, to help me choose God's lifegiving ways. God wants me to choose better for my own good. Afterall, I don't want to keep sinning and then feel so ashamed that I have to hide in the Garden behind some fig leaves (deep fried fig leaves, that is).
No comments:
Post a Comment